2021-12-09

Lucy's Diary

Foreword by Angelica

I started just blogging my uncoordinated experiences with Lucy when I got her, but now I want to empathize with her feelings as my companion, rather than treat her like a subordinate pet. So I am switching write this from her point of view.

educating Angelica

I was panting non stop. I didn't feel well. The smell from my puppies made me feel sick, so I slinked off and hid under the bed! Angelica understood. She took me for a walk at 4am in the dark. The fresh air did make me feel better, but no sooner was I back than I felt queasy again and slinked back under the bed.

First thing the next morning I went to the vet. He said I had 41.9°C fever. He was very concerned and gave me anti-biotics for the rest of the week. He also is doing a blood test. Angelica doesn't care about the bill because she wants what is best for me.

She then got some milk formula and tried feeding the puppies herself, but she soon realized she would never be able to keep all eight of them fed. We went for another walk and maybe the anti biotics were working already as I felt ready to go back to our puppies when we got home, but first I ripped up all the horrible paper Angelica had put down and she threw that out. It was smelly and wet and that basket is a problem too. The nest I had built in the garden was a much better design because there the puppies could crawl out, relieve themselves and then crawl back to me. The mulch absorbed the worst of anything accidents.

I do understand why Angelica brought us in. There are two big fat hedghogs on the prowl at night. They would kill and eat my puppies. They didn't bother me before, but now I wake Angelica up everey time I hear them. I get her to open the door then I find them and bark furiously right where I find them. They have nasty prickles and I can't fight them, but IDK why Angelica doesn't just evict them from our garden: We don't want their sort prowling round our puppies!

fp-20211214_090501

In nature dogs don't need toliet training, 3 days old and we already know what to do, but my puppies end up frustrated and crying as they can't get back in the basket! Also it smells disgusting despite Angelica wiping and washing it. I curled up in the doorway where there was a fresh flow of air and finally she twigged. She went and got her duvet's off the bed and we slept on the floor together. My puppies had a good feed and didn't cry once. They wriggled off to do their poohs and Angelica picked those all up the next day. Now she owes me a nice long walk and a ball game in the park. Only then shall I feed our puppies again.

You have to be hard when negotiating terms of employment!

It's not easy communicating with humans, but I'm slowly teaching Angelica how to think beyond verbal language and understand Nature's design. I dread to think what a ghastly mess the 4th industrial revolution will make when humans decide they can design it all better. You humans think you know it all and I know you mean well, but as new arrivals in the evolution stakes you really just haven't got a clue, have you? 😉

the pack 2021-12-11

My babies crawl out of our nest to defecate... it's amazing how they instinctively know wrong from right and we have paper on the floor to catch the worst of it. I too am doing my best as I lick the pups clean. Higiene is essential!

Angelica helps by washing towels and bedding. She comes running day or night as soon as she hears a puppy squeal. Mostly they just need help to get back in the basket with me. When I want to go to the toilet myself, I go find Angelica so she can come keep an eye on our litter while I'm outside. She praises me for being such a dedicated mom, but to me it all comes naturally.

puppies

Angelica was weighing them but I was concerned because I didn't know what it was for, but now we have a photo of each with their weight and a male/female status in the gallery tab. They will be needing names to work as team members of our pack, but Angelica says we may have to find other homes for some. I have excellent pedigree as a farm dog from way down South, but none the less, farmers would not want a pup from the city. Brew, their father has lots of character but he wasn't up to scratch as a heading dog and so we will want to find family homes for them here in the city. Us New Zealand heading dogs are the most intelligent breed, but we need a challenge, to run, to jump and to play. Rain or shine we have energy to burn every day.

Puppies 2021-12-09

puppies-in-compost

I dug a nest in the garden. I dug several actually, but eventually the compost heap seemed best. It was nice and warm in there and the mulch was easy to dig too. I knew something was up today. I was all agitated, but silly Angelica thought I just needed a run on the beach, She told me to get in the car and off we went.

I chased the ball and went splashing into the sea to fetch it a few times, but I did make very clear not to walk the usual route. Angelica seemed to understand, so we loitered near where the path back to the car crosses the dunes. Suddenly I felt a pang. I yelped in surprise and started running. Angelica followed. She knew exactly what I had just said!

At one point I thought I couldn't hold it any longer. I dived into long grass and lay down... I'm not sure if a puppy slipped out there, but I changed my mind and started to run as fast as I possibly could... back to the car. Angelica was running too. Then we were off and back home in no time.

I raced thru the house to my nest in the compost heap. There in rapid succession puppies came sliding out. I had to unpack each one, bite through the unbilical cord and eat all the mess. Irresistable, tastes delicious! Nobody ever taught me what to do but I already knew.

I was nursing 6 puppies already and more yet to come. Angelica decided to move us indoors. She picked them all up and put them in a box lined with a towl. She was very bossy as she called me and ordered me in to the house. That's so unlike her, she normally just suggests, or asks me. Now I was afraid she would take all my puppies away so I obeyed!

She put my soft sleeping basket on top of a warm duvet. I dived in to it. Then she put all my puppies back on my titties. Two more pups were yet to emerge, so that's 8 puppies in total! No wonder I was so big!

Angelica has been bringing me food she adds mineral and vitamin suplements and has given me some milk too. Many dogs are lactose intollerant, but I've had it before. Right now I prefer milk to water. Angelica trusts Mother Nature more than the internet and we both trust my instincts. They never failed me yet. Puppies all look healthy, I'm feeling good... this was the best day of my life!

Short Walks 2021-12-06

9th week of pregnancy and I've got so big that I have to lie down and rest on walks. Angelica has to stop and wait until I'm ready to walk on. She started taking me for shorter walks and it's really frustrating not being able to run and jump and chase the ball. She's been giving me extra yummy food and says it's good for the puppies in my tummy, but I was really sick in the night. My tummy had been making loud gurgling noises and so we left the back door open for emergency exits.

indoor games

We break the day up with shorter walks and play lots of bounce in the house, but I was getting really bored being cooped up, so come 3am I decide to wake Angelica and we go for a walk. There is rarely anyone around at that time of night, but one friendly chap wished us a good morning already. Then about 8:30 we had another short walk. It's rush hour so I was keeping an eye out for cars, waiting at crossing, stopping in my tracks the moment she says "wait" and then crossing on command. It's really nice to be doing something together as a team and I can tell Angelica really appreciates my work.

Further up there was a girl holding her cat. Perhaps she was afraid I would chase it, but I haven't done that for a long time. Angelica shouted: Don't worry, I taught my dog not to chase cats! In fact yesterday a cat just strolled up to me and sniffed my nose. Dogs do like to chase and we do it with other dogs too. It's the running away that's like invitation to play. It's not meant to hurt anyone and I won't chase the ducks down by the river either anymore.

We did our usual crossing the road twice then over the bridge. I ran ahead to the Radley Str junction and waited for Angelica to say it was OK to cross. It's where she first taught me about "half way" and which way to look for cars. Back then I used to spook with the ones whizzing so close behind and others in front, but I know now that it's safe on the traffic island. We set off heading East and I was walking to heel when a car hurtled past, agressively blasting the horn. I think it was that same stroppy female that stopped to call Angelica a 'fuckwit' a few weeks back. There seem to be some really agressive bullies around who are ignorant of how behave in a civil society.

No longer a vigin 2021-10-07

Leaking blood for a few days. At first it was quite dark but today it became bright and almost orange. It's happened once before, back when I was a mischievous little puppy, but back then something changed and Angelica noticed how much more mature I became after that first period. Suddenly it just felt natural to work together as a pack.

First I had to train Angelica to do the lefthand side of the road while I would do the right. In this way we could get twice as much walking done in the same time. I'm surprised Angelica never thought of it because she is almost as clever as a proper heading dog and it didn't take her too long to learn how to read my signals. When traffic is really busy, sometimes she still feels safer being on my side with me. I don't blame her, because we have seen cats that had been run over. They don't seem to realize how fast cars can go and they also forget to look both ways before they cross, but I can trust Angelica to be sensible.

mating

Coming to the end of our walk today, I felt an irrisistable urge to shoot up a side street. I've seen Goose and Brew walking with Kate there. We've met in the park and played ball together and I really wanted to see them. I found their house by just following my nose. They were in the garden. Kate let us in and she made Angelica a cup of herbal tea. I would lie down and both Goose and Brew kept sniffing me. Goose is a full-on huntaway and lots of fun, but he had to have stitches out so Kate eventually shut him inside. Brew is bigger but more sedate. They left us to play. Angelica came back an hour later and Kate had take a picture of us. Once again I felt something very significant had happened.

The Vet says...

Ultrasound Image

The assistant is tapping the table and saying "up", but Angelica has told me tables are where people eat yucky food like lettuce. Suddenly Angelica just scoops me up in her arms and plonks me unceremoniously on the table. Then the vet starts rubbing my tummy with a squeeky thing. He says I'm going to have atleast 4 puppies. He can't take a picture with one hand and gets his assistant to do it with his cell phone, when Angelica asks. The vet seems a bit concerned about how big Brew might have been and says something about cesarian. Angelica says she wants the best for me and doesn't care what it costs, so he suggests we come back in 3 weeks to make sure all is OK.

Human babies take 9 months, but us dogs can do a whole litter in just 9 weeks! Angelica has been reading stuff on the internet and started giving me extra yummy food with omega 3 and 6's, vitamins and minerals. I get milk too now, and sometimes steamed Salmon heads. Today I had Mackrel and she makes bone soup for both of us with grass-fed cow bones. Those are rich on Iron, Calcium and Magnesium.

Since childhood, Angelica wanted a dog that would have puppies. She appreciates what a precious gift pregnancy is and wants the best for us unlike human mums who eat junk food do drugs, drink and smoke because they don't give a damn.

2021-11-14 Midnight Walks

Puppies are unaware of how dangerous traffic is, and I used to feel safest being on a lead so that I wouldn't make any mistakes. Angelica would always explain exactly what we were doing and I picked up on useful words like "over", "wait there" and "to the lights", so eventually just the words were all I needed. We would go out to practice at night when there was no traffic around and lately we started doing that again because during the day stroppy dog wardens have started harassing us.

Dog wardens don't work at night, but last night a creepy electric car kept following us. I thought we lost them when we went over the foot bridge across the river, but they must have driven round somehow and were soon on our tail again. They would glide past ever so slowly then pull up and wait. Each time Angelica would say "over". We cross to the other side and just keep walking. We also split up, with me going to the lights on my own and her down the central reservation of the dual carriage way. She gave me the "half way" command and I waited for her on the traffic island. I just love doing these manoevers and I bet those creeps in the car had never seen anything like it. We turned into our own street to come home. They drove round and came up behind us again. Then they did a U turn and stopped in the middle of the road watching. Angelica was tense. She wrapped my solid chain round her knuckles, ready to fight off dog nappers and rapists if need be, but luckily nothing happened and we got home safely.

Bulmastiff at the gate 2021-10-14

Bullmastiff at the gate

I've been on heat for a few days and today a big bullmastiff, was back looking looking for me. He's a perfectly nice placid dog, but Amgelica told me to get in the car and we went to the beach. We had to be very careful not to reverse over 'Big Mac' on the way out. When we returned he was still there waiting patiently on the driveway. I jumped out of the car and assumed a submissive position, but Angelica shouted 'NO'. She said she doesn't want me having his puppies as they would be too big. I lept up and snapped viciously at his jowl but he didn't even flinch.

Luckily his owner had told us where she lived when she came to collect him last time. She hadn't given us a phone number so Angelica put me back in the car and we started driving. Then we realized this big dog was pounding along beside the car. We slowed down and got him to go on the foot path. We couldn't drive on the busy dual carriage way with a dog trotting behind, so we parked and cross at the lights on foot.

I was quite annoyed with this dog trying to mount me, but Angelica put me on the lead because it wouldn't fit round his neck. I growled and nipped his cheek to let him know I was not OK with his attentions, but he followed safely to where he lives. Luckily they were in. ANgelica was grumpy, but they appologized and explained the neighbour's kids had been letting him out.

Catching events 2021-08-11

Lucy was trotting along the foot path on the other side of the road, but she dropped her ball. She stood there and watched it roll right into the road where it was sent flying as a fast moving car hit it. I have trained her to resist temptation of following her ball on to the road, the same as I've done for cats, because I want her focused on the traffic. I wish I had caught it on camera as it show why I really can trust her now. I'm dedicating a separate blog page to Lucy and you can read more about her there.

Alas I had just switched off the spy glasses because I don't fancy editing reems of uneventful footage. I would have taken too long to find the buttons and start recording. If only they could make these things with a simple two position record/off switch, but I haven't found any yet.

2021-10-01 Snuggles

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I didn't think I was allowed on the bed, but at night when Angelica was asleep I would snuggle up with my head on her shouder, so gently she wouldn't notice until waking up the next morning. Then she would put her arms around me, kiss me, and tell me she loves me, so I knew it was OK. Now when she goes out I get one of her jumpers from wherever she left it. I drag that on to the bed with me so I don't feel alone and I watch out the window for when she comes home. We have no secrets, we love and trusts each other, without compromise. A human is for life, not just for Christmas! ❤️

2021-09-04 Frosty

Looking out the window this morning as the rising sun sparkled off the frosty grass. I remarked to myself "Oh look it's frosty!" Lucy jumped to the conclusion that would be the name of a cat and went tearing toward the back door barking for me to let her out. She bounced into that back garden then glanced around frantically in antcipation until she walked back disappointed and snorted as she walked past me.

I really sometime wonder how much English she actually understands. "Dumb animals" are not that dumb... they just can't talk.

Cyclist runs the lights and runs over Lucy 2021-08-31

Waiting at the lights to cross on foot with Lucy, a group of cyclists come thru. I tell Lucy we must wait for the bicycles, because I can see they've all gone through a red light and the pedestrian lights are about to go green for us. Just then the audible beeper for blind people starts beeping and Lucy lurches forward... straight into the last oncoming bike about half a meter in front of me. She yelps in agony as it and the cyclist crash on top of her. The woman in front, turns and screeches abuse and at me how I should keep my dog closer, but I'm really distressed. I shout "Don't blame me! You went through the red light and those lights are there for a reason!" I've always let people untimidate and bully me, but I've had enough it now.

Now my poor little lucy has some nasty cuts that are bleeding, but with the lockdowns the vet's is closed so I put disinfectant on them and bandaged as best I could.

Kicking the shit out of my dog 2021-08-22

My dog sitting at the crossing just now, waiting for me to say "over". A big guy and his floozy walk up with yappers on dog leads that attack Lucy, her heckles go up and she growls at them. Then the "man" lashes out kicking viciously several times at my dog who hasn't done anything other than growl. I dive over the mans flailing leg to pull her to safety. "WTF did you do that for?" I shout at him. He says "Your dog's not on a lead and it's your generations fault we have lock down, I hope you die!"... I told him he was a 'c word' (no, not 'coward' it was the 'c' word some people don't like me to write here as it "offends them"). He was a good head taller than me, a lot bigger and wearing heavy boots too that he defintely hurt Lucy with. Maybe even a broken rib, can't tell yet. I didn't know how to react but I swear if something like that happens again I shall wrap lucy's chain round my fist and punch the coward as hard as bloody well can. I won't be fighting for the freedoms of the ghastly next generation of this nation, but I certainly shall be defending mine.

Update: 2021-08-29 A lady cycling past with her young daughter on the back stops to tell me she was witness to this event and how horrified she was at a the abusive languge that was directed at me without any cause. It did make me feel better as sometimes you just start to doubt yourself, so I thanked her for telling me.

Dog Lead Karens to the North 2021-08-07

I'm telling Lucy to go "over" and then a neighbour starts telling me to put my dog on the lead. I said "what for?" and he said "for a start mine will have have it", so I said then it's up to you to keep YOUR dog under control, and he says yours isn't even on the lead and I said she's a sheep dog and doing exactly what I told her to. He snorts and mutters something I copuldn't hear.

We get to the end of the road and I tell Lucy "To the lights and wait". She bounds ahead and stands motionless at the crossing by the lights. A car comes round the corner and the passenger shouts angrily out the window "Look after your dog". I shout back that she's waiting for me.

The rest of our walk into city center is uneventful but at one point Lucy starts snapping at my feet, which is her way of telling me to walk faster. I say "NO" to her and to walk nicely with me or I will put her on the lead. Two women walking past are laughing and one says she should really be on he lead anyway, but I don't mind when it's not said with hostility. I explain I'm trainong her to nehave and that it's a nice safe pedestrian precinct. They smile and agree.

Dog Lead Karens to the South 2012-08-02

Took Lucy out for her evening walk and she enjoys me sending her over the road, then racing round and back to me again. me neighbours getting out of their car were watching and smiling and I said "she's a sheep dog... she just loves doing this". "She's awesome!" they responded. I sent lucy on another run round, but two cars appeared, one from each direction so I gave her the "wait there" command. She froze on the spot. She lay down and waited for me to say "OK" before continuing.

At the end of our road is a foot bridge over the river. On the command "to the bridge!" Lucy raced ahead and lay down at the crossing until I got there. Then we crossed together to get to the bridge, but this time she swerved left and went back to the crossing where she lay down at the curb. I followed her and was just telling we would have to wait for the cars that were coming.

Suddenly I heard a lot of commotion. Two dogs on leads were leaping up and down and barking furiously as a man and his wife sought to restrain them by their driveway gate two doors up on the other side of the road. "Oh, I better put you on the lead" I said to Lucy, as those dogs seem upset about you being here. Lucy, still lying at my feet looked up at me with her big brown eyes as if saying "what's that got to do with me?". The man started swearing at his dog and then shouted abuse at me. He called me ignorant and said dogs should be on a lead. I had already sliped it over Lucy's head and she was now sitting quietly next to me. I shouted back that my dog was doing nothing wrong and that his dogs were his problem, not mine. He got really angry and launched into a tirade, so I showed him my middle finger while he went into a mouth forthing appoplectic fit sneering at my appearance and making monkey noises.

In the future I must make sure to be wearing my video glasses. These are the sort of moments just begging to be recorded. All they want is for the nanny state to rule and regulate every aspect of our lives, but should that mean the rest of humanity must surrender our freedom to satisfy their insecurity? I say fuck them.

Puppy Love

I don't think she liked me much at first. I was nothing like the people on the farm she came from, no other dogs and no children to play with, but sick of all the betrayal I desperately wanted a companion and so I devoted myself to giving her a loving home with lots of fun and games. Gradually she warmed to me.

sleeps under my bed

In the heat of the day she sleeps under my bed, sometimes she uses her puppy basket even though she is now far too big for it and when it's cold she hops up into mine. \ When I go out she will drag one of my wooly jumpers out of the washing basket put it on the bed with er and snuggle up on it. In the morning I find her currled up in my arms with her head on my shoulder, sometimes holding my sleeve in her mouth and I just gave at her affectionately. Then she dances off to find a ball and entice me to come play.

I sneaked out to get the camera

Pack Hunts at Sunrise

When we get back we have breakfast together. It remind me of Sunday morning as a child, not being allowed to eat until after church, but then we would get croisants and real butter if we were good. Waiting made it all the more worth while. I think in nature the pack would hunt on an empty stomach and eat when they made a kill. Lucy is a precious team member in our symbolic hunt every morning... she deserves the best cut and I give it to her, so she knows she's appreciated.

Glow Bounce

We have 5 glow-in-the-dark rubber balls and Lucy loves to play "bounce" in the dark in the living room. I bounce a ball off a wall and she catches it. The action gets fast and furious and we vary bouncing at different angles off the wall and the floor. It was something I did while waiting for my coffee to percolate once, and now whenever I go to the coffee percolator Lucy gets all excited. She comes into the kitchen to check it is the percolator and woofs at me then she rushes into the living room and lies in the ball bouncing corner making cute little squeals of anticipation.

Today I noticed there were only 4 bounces in the box. I walked past Lucy, who was lying there looking up at me with those soft brown eyes and I said "I just need a pee first". Then from the bathroom I said... "There is one bounce missing... I think it might be in the bedroom. See if you can find it!"...

Well Lucy got up. She padded through to the bedroom and promptly came back with the missing bounce. Then she went back to the corner waiting for me to finish and start the game. When I talk to her she tilts her head slightly, looking at me askance at times, but I think she actually understand far more than people give dogs credit for. Whether she obeys is a different matter.

That dog jumps up!

Walking back from the park some children were chasing each other down the road toward us... and recognizing it as a game Lucy was getting excited. Back then she would try to lick a child's face so I was holding her down. The little girl asked me why and I said because sometime she jumps up at children.

Later that week I was walking there with her off the lead and a woman came along and kicked her really hard. I shouted "What are you doing? She didn't do anything to you!". The woman said "Your dog jumps up at children". I realize that little girl must have gone home and told hert mother "that dog jumps up at children", even though that had not been the case. A next the children were running past again and said hello. I said to Lucy, "Avoid those kids, their mom is the one who kicked you."

Come the weekend covid lock downs were in force and everyone had to keep a safe distance. This time coming to a junction that same mom came round the corner from behind a tall hedge. She immediately started backing away with her hands held up high shouting "keep that dog away from me!" Lucy would normaly have just walked past, but the hands going up and her walking backwards blocking the way wasn't helping.

The next time we saw her, she was in her car and Lucy had run ahead to wait for me at the junction. This time she drove really close to the curb at hiogh speed an blasted her horn agressively. Most dogs would spook, but Lucy just laid her ears back and cowered down on the foot path until I got to her, trusting she would be safe there as I have taught her. It's this Karen attitude that all dogs must be on a lead that I don't agree with. Anyone who thinks you can exervise a heading dog on a lead is simply ignorant and they need of training, respect and trust.

2019-05-21

Ball Thief

Although we play with them indoors too, Lucy associates her ball with going out. She will bring it to me and drop it on the bed first thing in the morning as a suble hint. Then as soon as I'm ready she races to the door with it in her houth and proudly carries it with her all round the block.

Sometimes she would drop it and back then if it rolled onto the road she might be tempted to chase it right into the path of oncoming traffic. Since then I've taught her to let me get it, but back then I thought it safest to just leave the ball at home. So I put it up on a little tray of gravel that I have by the front door and off we went.

On arriving home I noticed the ball was gone and I wasn't entirely sure if I remembered correctly putting it there. Could it have been I was confused with a previous occasions, but I soon relized we had definitely lost one and there was also a rusty nail in my gravel tray that I am sure I had never put there.

There is this other dog owner who comes visit me sometimes. In the past I had leant him money but such loans were never repaid. He would invariably spend it on alcohol and tobacco and I had a hard time saying no to that. By chance he turned up a bit later. He was pleading with me for a bottle of my home brew. I told him I wasn't happy that he never even returns the empty bottles as they cost money and take a lot of efforst to clean and refill. I said he should consider brewing his own (thinking he might appreciate it more when he has to put some effort in), but I reluctantly gave him one anyway. That's when he confessed he had been round earlier and that his dog had taken the ball (which was highly unlikely as the dog would be too low down to see into the tray where it had been). His dog is some kind of pit bull and just chomps those balls to pieces in a matter of minutes, yet they cost almost $20 each which is quite a lot of money to me. It reminds me of when I found my bell peppers had been picked and just thrown into the back garden as if they were just rubbish. At the time I had suspected him of being the onme who did that. I don't think it's malice, but it's disrespectful and I don't feel I can trust people with that attitude in my home as who knows what they might decide to borrow without asking. They have a "communal living" culture which in which the community provides for their needs.

Road Rage

Ever since I started teaching my puppy, Lucy to be traffic-wise, she just loves to cross busy roads. She's sitting watching the cars attentively looking for a gap. She is incredibly patient and thinks it's all a fun game. When it's not too busy I let her do it without using the lead as she will wait on command and won't move until I say "over". When it's really busy she seems to prefer I clip the lead on, and so it was that yesterday we were waiting half way across on a traffic island with a steady stream of rush hour vehicles yet to be negotiated. Finally a gap of about 3 car lengths could be seen aproaching, but the car stuck in a side street was edging out, and I anticipated them going for the gap, this is one thing Lucy hasn't worked out yet and it might be beyond what can expect from a dog, so I kept her close on the lead.

With impressive timing the driver zipped into the the gap. Now if it had been me in the next car I might have slowed down and backed off a bit out of courtesy, knowing how hard this kind of maneuver can be at rush hour, but instead there were two obese women in that car and I could see their faces flush with rage as they stamped on the accelerated and gave a blaring "how dare you" blast of the horn at the other driver. It was only inches from us and Lucy and I both flinched. People with such a volatile temper are unsafe to be behind the wheel.

Note: since writing this Lucy has become totally predictable. I can trust her run ahead to the lights where she will wait until I get there and she lies down at crossing trying to tell me she wants to cross... which I often do even if we don't need to be on the other side.

Truculent Dog Warden

Yesterday I went walking in the forest at bottle lake. Lucy loves it there and runs off sniffing all the forest smells. She gets really excited as we approach our destination, the beach. By the time we've walked back it's a good three hours and we are both tired and looking forward to a snack and a rest, but Lucy got it into her head to roll in something disgusting, by the smell of it ... very stale pooh! I scolded her and said "go away you are smelly!"

She trotted ahead in a sulk, with her ears flat and her tail bewteen her legs. She saw another dog further up and decide to go see if it wanted to play with, and I don't mind her learning the canine social graces. I noticed the other dog was on a lead and it's owner was wearing some kind of uniform. His body language suggested he didn't want Lucy around so I shouted "off" at her and she obediently she backed off by about 10 meters, but still some distance ahead of me. I didn't think there was any problem with that.

There is a hose by the car park, just right for hosing down a smelly dog before I put her in the car, but Lucy wasn't having any of it and scuttled off to a safe distance each time I tried to get hold of her. The man in the uniform had put his dog in an "animal control" van, but now he parked across the exit and was glaring at us. Not wanting any trouble I opened my car door and command Lucy to get, which she did immediately (presumably because she knew it meant she wouldn't be getting the dreaded hose treatment) and I would just have to wash the seats later. Now the dog warden swung his van round to block me from getting out of my parking space and started shouting at me that I should keep my dog under control. He said Lucy had sneaked up behind them and "frightened his dog"... WTF I thought... his dog is twice the size of my puppy (she was not even one year old yet). I said she didn't want to be hosed down and that she had backed off immediately when I had told her to.

The dog warden threatened that if his dog had attacked Lucy I would be to blame, because it would be Lucy not under control rather than his dog that was on a lead. Then he proceeded to allege she "lingering behind them..." again WTF I thought, who is this prick in a position of power, but though it best to justy say "Sorry I didn't realize there would be a problem with that."

Well the dog warden drove off and a group of cyclists stood staring at me as were I some kind of space monster. The new age is dawning: An age of uppity authorities and judgemental "Karen's".